offtopic: Zeit für einen geschriebenen Witz

Im Englischen viel mehr als im Deutschen gibt es Standard-Witzformen.
Zum Beispiel die Knock-Knock-Jokes, die nach dem Muster

“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there?”
[irgendein Wort]
“[irgendein Wort], who?”
[irgendein Wort][lustig ergänzt]

aufgebaut sind. Ein Exemplar:

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee, who?
Anee one you like.

oder

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva, who?
Iva sore hand from knocking.

Sehr beliebt (zumindest in England) ist es auch, Pointen von Witzklassikern zu ruinieren. Standardbeispiel (das eigentlich nur live funktioniert) ist ein alter Kalauer aus den 40ern (oder 50ern ?):

“My wife went to the West-Indies.”
“Jamaica?”
“No, she went of her own accord.”

( Falls das nicht verständlich ist: “Jamaica” klingt so wie “D’ya make her?”, wenn man nuschelt.)

Der wird dann gern mal variiert in z.B.

“My wife went to the West-Indies.”
“To Cuba? Oh f*ck.”

oder

“My wife went to Jamaica.”
“Really? Of her own accord?”
“Oh, d*mn.”

Ein anderer Klassiker ist die “How many x does it take to change a lightbulb.”, mit der irgendeine klischeehafte Eigenschaft von x auf den Arm genommen wird.

Ein paar Beispiele:

“How many carpenters does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to hold it, one to hammer it in. ”

“How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? One hundred. One to do it and 99 to say “Hey, I could have done that!” ”

“How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they only screw in hot tubs.”

“How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the bulb needs to really want the change.”

“How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!”

“How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? You don’t need a light bulb if you have a glass ceiling.”

“How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? It isn’t the lightbulb that needs to change, its society that needs to change.”

“How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One. She hold the bulb in place while the world revolves around her.”

“How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Twelve.
One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole “screwing” bit to be too “rape-like”,
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now “out-lightbulbing” men,
and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.”

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3 thoughts on “offtopic: Zeit für einen geschriebenen Witz

  1. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? You don’t need a light bulb if you have a glass ceiling.

    Fällt das schon unter Realsatire? Ich habe jedenfalls herrlich gelacht. 😀

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